December 2011
33 posts
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Bertie Blagowrie is probably my favourite TOFOP...
Wil: What, you think that some guy, who said he is my cousin, who is Tongan, who has the name John Waldon but who goes by the stage name Bertie Blagowrie, has come to my house, like begged to stay at my house because he's scared of hotels, has come to my house, he's watched porn really loud, pretended he was deaf, masturbated towards me, said "hey hubba bubba gum", and then like nailed himself to my floorboards in some kind of Jesus motion, and you think, "oh well, case closed. No more investigation needed here. Moving on. Oh, it's Monday, that's a gym day. Looking forward to the gym this afternoon." You don't think I'd do more investigation?
Charlie: I think there's a side of me who would not want to go there or dig any deeper because, how are you going to win in that situation?
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TOFOP ep 59, Aweson
[Talking about Wil drinking the left over of Keanu Reeves and Steve Waugh's drinks]
Wil: You play footy or whatever where they pass around a drink that everybody's been fuckin' slobbering on
Charlie: Yeah it's not so much that, but it's the idea that uh ...
Wil: So there's nothing weird about it is what you're saying
Charlie: No, I'm saying-
WIl: So I'm doing something that's completely normal, that you do all the time, except I'm doing the celebrity version of it and you're fuckin' jealous. You're jealous that you're wasting all your fuckin' shared germs on nobodies and I'm swapping spit with celebrities, with A-listers
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I love it when Wil is telling a story and Charlie...
Charlie: Am I John Howard?
Wil: You are John Howard! The former prime minister John Howard
Charlie: I can't believe you met the guy from All Saints!
Wil: I look like I am coming off heroin, like I am shaking, rocking back and forwards, and I'm sitting next to John Howard
Charlie: Who cancelled your TV show
Wil: And he is just in the best nick, he's over 70 and he's in his little suit.
TOFOP ep 59, Aweson
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You wanted a fan story? I have a bunch, but here's...
effyeaaussiecomedy:
I was in Softbelly for one of Adam Hills’ IGST joke trial gigs. The place was pretty packed. Adam came into the room and the barman jokingly said to him “Sorry, mate. We’re full.”
Adam, quicker than greased lighting said “Oh, it’s fine. I have a booking. My name is Wil…”
Submitted by roger-explosion
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TOFOP Episode 49 - Kid Carbon Tax.
Charlie: Hello and welcome to TOFOP, I'm Charlie Clausen.
Wil: I'm Wil Anderson.
Charlie: Why do we do it, Wil?
Wil: Why do we do what?
Charlie: Drink during the day.
Wil: Oh! Yes, right, sorry. There were so many questions that that could've been relating to. That was a really deeply philosophical way to start the podcast!
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TOFOP Episode 58 - The Oktober 2000
Wil: When you write the script of "Friends With Benefits", and it's a pretty wittily written script-
Charlie: So when you photo copy "No Strings Attached"...
Wil: And add a couple more racy shots of Mila Kunis' arse.
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TOFOP Episode 21 - The Vortex.
Charlie: Did you have posters on your wall?
Wil: I had football posters, and I remember, and this was kind of awkward, cos my parents were kind of cool about, you know, I was the eldest, and they were kind of cool with like, uhh, your emerging sexuality, and at one point I'm pretty sure Mum bought me like a poster, and it was like those girls working out in the gym, like in leotards-
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, like Pumped Up Down Under or something.
Wil: Pumper Up Down Under! It may even have been Pumped Up Down Under!
Charlie: But your Mum bought that for you?
Wil: Yeah.
Charlie: Yeah right. Wow.
Wil: Maybe she was just like "He might be gay. Let's just see - he doesn't really seem to want to work on the farm, he's not really keen on riding his motorbike or pissing on electric fences, ahh, he seems to like a bonfire, but only if he can throw stuff on it that explodes, ahh, he climbed a tree once but he fell out so...umm, let's just give him a poster of a girl and see how he reacts!"
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People of the internets: If there is one thing you... →
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I am not the technical wizard, I am just less technically retarded than you.
– Charlie Clausen // TOFOP Episode 40 Poo Poo (via sarahbewithyou)
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So we know for sure that Charlie knows about TOFOP...
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One of Wil's old columns, Christmas edition
Christmas Wishes My friends and family tell me I am hard to buy presents for. So for my final column for the year, I thought I might take the opportunity to outline some of my Christmas wishes: I wish that Kevin Rudd would stop pretending he is in some sort of Prime Ministerial Amazing Race, and actually spend some time in Australia.
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I think there is something seriously wrong when...
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TOFOP Episode 49 - Kid Carbon Tax.
Wil: Why is there mid strength beer?
Charlie: Uhh...to lessen incidents of violence, I'm guessing?
Wil: Right. But we went to a Sydney Swans game, what's the violence gonna be? That somebody mistook a macchiato for a piccolo?
Charlie: That's right, you might get a California Roll to the back of the head.
Wil: They serve sushi. At the footy.
Charlie: They're a strange crowd, the AFL crowd in Sydney. They came to life when the Swans got up, but before that it was like being in a library.
Wil: It was like the football was in the way of the gathering going on around them.
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TOFOP Episode 32 - Roboctupus.
Wil: I worked out with a guy today, just another Aussie dude that I know here who goes the gym as well, and ahh, he was like, do you want to work out? And I was like, alright...I didn't really want to.
Charlie: Yeah, I hate working out with other people.
Wil: I like to work out by myself so I don't really have to work out. I can just stare at the girls and watch the telly.
Charlie: The thing I hate is that everyone has so much fucking advice to give. I don't mind, I don't need technique. It's enough that I'm here, mentally I've done the right thing by being here. Dont fuckin'-
Wil: Mate! Did you not notice I'm wearing tracksuit pants? Job fuckin' done!
November 2011
30 posts
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